Chuck Norris Jokes

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100 MORE CHUCK NORRIS FACTS:

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

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THE TOP TEN CHUCK NORRIS FACTS:

01
Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
02
Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
03
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
04
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

 

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Chuck Norris is Da Man Jokes

Chuck Norris Joke 1
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris Joke 2
Chuck Norris doesn’t stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

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Chuck Norris

It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That’s true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris actually built the stairway to heaven.

Chuck Norris is One Bad Dude Jokes

Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.

Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick Jokes

A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

A roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.

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