Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee1.0). Recently he upgraded Fiancee1.0 to Wife1.0, and it’s a memory hogger! It has taken all his space; and Wife1.0 must be running before he can do anything. Although he didn’t ask for them, Wife1.0 came with Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw and BrotherInLaw. [...]
This just in : NEW VIRUS WARNING If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of “Badtimes,” delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous Email virus yet. It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It [...]
You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed. You get a tattoo that reads “This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 3 or higher.” You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom. You turn off your modem and get this [...]
Never leave diskettes in the drive, as the data can leak out of the disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive. Diskettes should be rolled up and stored in pencil holders. Diskettes should be cleaned and waxed once a week. Microscopic metal particles may be removed by waving a powerful magnet over the [...]
The proliferation of modern programming languages (all of which seem to have stolen countless features from one another) sometimes makes it difficult to remember what language you’re currently using. This handy reference is offered as a public service to help programmers who find themselves in such a dilemma. TASK: Shoot yourself in the foot. C: [...]
1. Viruses are free. 2. Viruses don’t take up most of your hard drive. 3. Viruses don’t need 80 megs of RAM. 4. Viruses don’t have major bugs. 5. Viruses don’t have three different sets of documentation.
Ever wondered what heaven looks like ? Bill Gates died and, much to everyone’s surprise, went to Heaven. When he got there, he had to wait in the reception area. Heaven’s reception area was the size of Massachusetts. There were literally millions of people milling about, living in tents with nothing to do all day. [...]
