The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. “What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?” said the officer. “I’m going to a lecture.” the man said. “And who is going to [...]
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!”So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are [...]
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. “Okay,” the sheriff drawled, “Gomer, what is 1 and 1?” “11″ he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, “That’s not what I meant, but he’s right.” “What [...]
A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the ticket, she noticed several machetes in the car. “What are those for?” she asked suspiciously. “I’m a juggler,” the man replied. “I use those in my act.”
A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place: Man: What’s the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I’m also [...]
A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say,”
7. Every Tuesday he insists it’s his turn to be the siren. 6. He wants you to call him “Judge Dredd”, and he insists that all suspects should be executed right there on the spot. 5. He talks to himself. Half of him is the “good cop”, and the other half is the “bad cop”. [...]
The phone rings at FBI headquarters. “Hello? I’m calling to report my neighbor, Clifford. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!” “Thank you very much for the call, sir.”
Three Southerners and three Yankees are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Yankees each buy a train ticket and watch as the three Southerners buy only a single ticket. “How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks a Yankee. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers one of [...]
